i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
