Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
do nipples grow back?
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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