dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
