Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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