pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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