I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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