I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Randomize
