Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
time to smoke my breakfast
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
