Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Randomize
