Cold hands, warm shart.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
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