dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
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