And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
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