i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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