I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
