You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
