Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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