If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
