i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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