You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
