sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Randomize
