You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Randomize
