I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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