with your own penis?
goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Someone signed my nipple.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
