gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize