You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Randomize
