she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
Randomize
