Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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