Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Randomize
