yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
