Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
