i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
