Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
The beer is more important than you right now.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
