this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize