Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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