I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
