THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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