Grow some girl-balls and come out already
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
