just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Randomize
