If i come over, it means nothing
I wish I could punch you in the face.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
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