Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
