Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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