I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
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