Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
