please come you make the beer taste better
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
Randomize
