I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize