i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Randomize
