come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
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