Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
My ass is underappreciated
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
