so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
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