man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
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