Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Randomize
