I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
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