Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize