if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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