we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Randomize
