I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
