Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Why am I always the sober one?
Cause you're the only one with any sort of self control. It's kinda your super power...
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
