ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
How external is "for external use only"?
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
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