I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize
